Loopholes Question: Christian Families and Santa Claus

In the spirit of our current sermon series, 'Closing Loopholes,' a young mom asked me a Christmas question this week about Santa Claus.  Since the season is almost upon us, I thought I'd post it today. It fits our sermon series, that's asking questions like 'do we look for loopholes when God has given us clear guidelines/fences on an issue?' and 'on gray areas in Scripture, do we seek to therefore use our freedom in Christ to treat that part of life as if our Good Shepherd doesn't exist, or equally troubling, do we try to make rules on top of the Bible, drawing the fences in tighter than the Lord does?' 

The theme of the series is "Instead of asking 'how far from my Shepherd can I stray?(and still be a 'good Christian'), we want to be those who ask 'how close to my Shepherd can I stay?'  So here's the question:

Hi Mike,   My husband and I were hoping to get your thoughts on Santa Claus. As a parent and pastor, have you ever encountered children that felt misguided when they learned the truth about Santa Claus? With Santa Claus having such a huge presence at Christmas (the celebration of Christ's birth), we don't want our new son to question the existence of Christ if and when he finds out Santa Claus is not real. Are there any good Christian books or schools of thought (processes to follow) on this subject? As new parents, we over think a lot of things but helping our boy develop a relationship with Christ is our top priority.    Thanks for your thoughts.   -A Lake Forest Ministry Partner

Here is my slightly-edited reply this week: 

Awesome, awesome question.  I applaud your priorities, and your desire to stay as close to your Shepherd as possible in how you celebrate Christmas.   Angie and I enjoyed doing santa claus in our family, and the boys were able to separate that from Jesus.  Others have probably read more and thought more deeply about this issue, but I will speak from our experience.  Some key things we did:

-Me and angie were a good balance – I tended to play up santa big-time, she wanted to downplay santa – we were a good team, and allowed each other to balance the other out

-Santa brought gifts to our house on Christmas morning, but not the biggies – those were from us – santa filled the stockings with fun little things the boys like (santa still brings each of my high schoolers a Star Wars figure annually, and always will as long as this Santa is alive). Santa would usually also bring one toy or decent-sized gift.  But the biggies (snowboard, bike, etc) were from us, so santa was sort of a precursor to the main event of family loving each other and loving Jesus by giving one another gifts

-We taught Dylan and Austin the true story of Saint Nicholas every year– that he lived long ago in the 200's, he was the pastor of a church, he loved Jesus so much, that he secretly gave presents to boys and girls (look this up, it’s a true story, when angie and I traveled to Turkey last year we drove through his hometown where he was a bishop); his spirit lives on; we do the same thing – we love jesus so much that to celebrate God giving us the best present of all – Jesus – we give each other presents just like santa claus did; some people say Santa still gives presents to children at Christmas, because he's so joyful about baby Jesus...

-We were determined for Christmas to be about the birth of Jesus, and feel we succeeded at that.  Angie made a happy birthday baby Jesus cake every Christmas, we sang the song to jesus and blew out the candles

-After the Happy Bday Baby Jesus Cake, I would narrate the Christmas story from the Bible while leading the boys to act out the manger scene every Christmas morning with figures (barney and dinosaurs and superheros often made it into the scene, it was a loose interpretation, sometimes involving fights among the various figures, since little boys were allowed to fill in details with their imagination)

-We treated santa like a game.  As SOON as they expressed the least bit if incredulity about santa, we treated it like a hide and seek game, or follow the clues.  Angie was very good about insisting that we do nothing that could be construed as lying to them

-The last couple of years when they asked ‘is santa real’ we encouraged them to watch for clues and decide – then we strategically left clues.  Our favorite quote was the year when Dylan was truly suspicious, so we said 'we will help you watch for clues so you can figure it out this year.'  Dylan (7, 8 or 9 yrs old, not sure) put together the note from santa on Christmas Day and matched it to our notepad, the way angie had purposefully cut it jaggedly so the two halves fit like a puzzle, and Dylan said ‘Game over mom, you and dad are Santa Claus’

We think Santa Claus is a fun cultural side of Christmas celebrations that can be a healthy part of a Christ-centered Christmas when handled thoughtfully.  Romans 14 is a biblical teaching about 'gray areas' of our faith practice like this, that aren't addressed directly in Scipture.  Paul's examples there of not eating meat, or observing Old Testament religious holidays apply to many 'disputable matters' among faithful Christians today.  That's where I would point you to read as a couple if you continue to wrestle with this issue in your consciences before the Holy Spirit.  I also want you to know, Angie and I are good with folks whose conscience, in the Holy Spirit, leads them to not include santa at all.  This is not something we would EVER argue about.  I hope my answer is helpful!  -Mike

Romans 14:1- 4  ¹ Accept the one whose faith is weak, without quarreling over disputable matters. ² One person’s faith allows them to eat anything, but another, whose faith is weak, eats only vegetables. ³ The one who eats everything must not treat with contempt the one who does not, and the one who does not eat everything must not judge the one who does, for God has accepted them. ⁴ Who are you to judge someone else’s servant? To their own master, servants stand or fall. And they will stand, for the Lord is able to make them stand. 

Comments

[Huntley Paton]

Sincere good luck to all Christian parents grappling with this. Dawn and I played the Santa card with our oldest child but decided we would not do so with our youngest two. Our oldest was truly heart-broken when she learned the truth, while our two youngest were upset that we denied the Santa myth and even told us frequently we were wrong. My son is now 13 and just yesterday said to me, "Why couldn't you just let us believe for a while?" The answer, of course, is that we didn't want them harboring a small fear that Jesus might be make-believe too. I think we made the right call but it's tough either way.

[Ginny Brown]

Loved your comments. Our thoughts and practices are similar to you guys. I wanted to share a picture book that I LOVE to share with young children during the Christmas season. It is called My Birthday, Jesus' Birthday by Holly Davis. It is narrated by a young girl who tells the nativity story by comparing it detail by detail to her own birth and birthday. It is wonderful. I think it is out of print but can be found used for under $10 on amazon.

[Mark Denning]

This is an issue that I have struggled with as a parent of elementary aged school children. I grew up a family that made a big deal of Santa and I was the oldest child who was disappointed when I learned it was not true.

We’ve followed Angie and Mike in that one of us plays it up while the other plays it down. I, like Angie, am concerned about deceiving them in any way. We have tried to talk up celebrating the birth of Jesus and made worship in the local church a family priority on Christmas day or Christmas eve. I would love to tell the St. Nicholas story better. Is there a children’s book you’d recommend Mike?

The one thing that drives me nuts about Santa (and Halloween) is your almost not given a choice. If you would like to downplay it in your family you almost can’t. Everywhere you go it’s in your face or people are asking your kids what Santa will get them or the TV is talking about it. Even in the public school the religious aspect of Christmas is avoided (rightly) but they often think nothing of promulgating the Santa myth. Which then forces you to reinterpret/explain/confirm/deny at home. I always appreciate it when the local church is intentional about focusing on Jesus at Christmas and does not mention Santa. Lake Forest never mentioned him in the years we were there and I really appreciated that.

[Bobbi Campbell]

Like the rest of you, John and I focused on Christ's birth, but allowed some Santa Claus time passively. In decorating our home, only "Christ" decorations (angels, greens, candles, manger, went in the room with the tree. Santa Claus/ secular Christmas could be glimpsed in other parts of the house. Also, we had a Yule Log that held 25 candles: every night we gathered, lit a candle, and did one game/song/review that was totally Biblically focused.

[Kim Muhich]

Thanks for this blog, Mike! Andy and I have talked about this issue a lot-and its something I see CONSTANTLY in all the families' homes I work in around the holidays.

I was such a cynic-I figured out at age 3 that there was no Santa-I matched the gift wrap to the gifts from my parents. So I'm not sure what it's like to grow up believing in the jolly old elf.

I love imagination. I hate the idea of lying to kids. We'll see what we decide down the road!

Anyway-loved reading everyone's thoughts!

[Tracy]

I grew up believing in Santa and had no conflict, so my plan was to do the same with my own children. When our oldest, Morgan, was 5 she asked me point blank if Santa was real or if he was like Barney. We just couldn't flat out lie to her, so we told her the truth. We brought Santa into our home on our tree and he worshipped the baby Jesus at our manager scene. It was tough to keep them quiet ( my sister and brother were more than a little worried that my very young kids would spill the beans,) but we haven't regretted it at all.
And as for the Easter bunny, I've never been able to tolerate this persona at all and squashed it from the get go.

[Michelle]

We taught about the historical St Nicholas and that playing Santa honors him and his service/love for Jesus as well as for the poor. Which all worked GREAT in our case... until our oldest, who is very literal due to his Asperger's Syndrome, told other kids Santa was dead. Yes, really. "But Mom, it's true???" Sigh. ;)

[Mike Moses]

these are all helpful thoughts and experiences - thank you

[Angela Magee]

This is great to know. I have been torn about Santa Claus and as our sons are 2 yrs and 6 weeks, I am happy to have a way to keep the magic alive and emphasize Jesus as well. And LOVE the idea of making the big presents from us. Why let Santa get all the cred. :)

[Maria Desanti]

Soooo thankful to have come across this! Thank you for the candid discussion of both sides. I feel a bit more freedom in doing Santa without regret. Great comments from other readers too. Rock on.