Weekend Lovers: I'm Talking to You Husband and Wife

I am a fan of all those married people who put Proverbs into practice this week, the part about "in a multitude of counselors (friends, mentors, books) is found wisdom." Lots of stories of people talking to their spouse about their issues for the first in a long time, talking to friends, to mentors, and making appointments with counselors.  We kicked off the Proverbs series in Huntersville examining marriage in the Proverbs and, uncharacteristically, i spent most of the time allowing Proverbs to diagnose ways that husbands and wives typically and characteristically 'get it wrong.' 

In the words of one husband, 'Mike, its not often that you spend the majority of a sermon pointing out the ways I suck at something - but honestly, I really needed that from God's Word, it opened my eyes.  Me and my wife had a great conversation Sunday afternoon.' The sermon is here http://lakeforest.org/media/sermons/

The takeaway at the end was how to wisely build up a marriage from Proverbs 15 -

by valuing your spouse (repeatedly, verbally and in self-talk; God has called you to be his agent speaking the value God holds for your spouse - God's image, unique, redeemed, etc - this is the job you accepted on your wedding day)

by rejoicing in the love they DO give you more than critiquing the ways they don't (get mathematical and make rejoicing in their love GREATER THAN criticquing their non-love verbally every week, and you WILL construct a healthy marriage; notice, call-out, write down the small-taken-for-granted ways they love and serve you, celebrate the big ways, don't take for granted the things they've done for years - laundry, poopy-scooping, etc.)

This weekend how about you focus your words to them in this direction:

Husbands: In your head name your wife's essential feminine beauty (deeper than physical). Speak it to her verbally at least once every half day - friday night, Sat. morning, Saturday afternoon, Sunday morning, Sunday afternoon. 

Wives:  In your head name your husband's essential masculine strength (deeper than physical).  Speak it to him verbally at least once every half day this weekend (per above).

In this way, you will be valuing and rejoicing in your spouse a la God's wisdom in Proverbs.  And you will be fulfilling the New Testament's most gender-specific love-health command for Christian Marriage:

Ephesians 5:33 "However, each one of you husbands also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband."  Andy Stanley expands this verse in the following way, that I make every premarital couple pretty much memorize:

Husbands, cherish your wife's heart (the Greek word for 'love' here means 'cherish').

Wives, respect your husband's strength.

Have a great weekend.  If you're married, love the hellishness out of your spouse. 

 

Comments

[Dan Phillips]

"God's wisdom in Proverbs" — catchy phrase!

(c;

http://www.kressbiblical.com/products/god%27s-wisdom-in-proverbs.html

[Sam James]

Thank you for this blog Mike.