Man does that sound terrible and me-focused and consumeristic. But its true, its connected to what I 'gave up for Lent,' so let me explain.
Every year I have my own way of 'talking to the LORD' about what I will abstain from during Lent. When we begin our first Ash Wednesday service, I simply say 'LORD, what's it gonna be this year? Something for me to fast from as an expression of my longing for, my holding out for, the best thing, the greater portion, the pearl of great price - to know Christ.' And I converse a bit with Him about this during our services from time to time, and by the end I've chosen something (including last year I chose to not give up anything, to make sure I wasn't getting too religious about all this).
This year, I'm fasting from EDM for Lent. Electronic dance music, both the pure dance stuff I love to lose myself in, and the more chill electro lounge kind of stuff I keep on in the background when I work or read.
I listen to EDM A LOT. So this particular fast means that I think about it multiple times during the day, and it sounds like, 'oh, I can't turn that station on, shoot, but its to remind me Jesus has called me to deny myself, take up my cross daily and follow him - and I said yes - and EDM isn't bad but in this moment I'm re-mindful of the power of Christ-in-me to deny myself by saying 'no' to sin, and 'yes' to holiness and love and mission - thank you LORD for using this small 'no' to EDM to re-call me to larger 'YES'S' to Jesus' way of life.' At its best, my Lenten self-talk and prayer sounds a bit like that.
Luke 9:23 "Then Jesus said to them all: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me."
So here's the odd way my Lenten fast is hooking me up royally.
Since I can't listen to my various levels of EDM stations on Pandora all day long, I've experimented with creating new Pandora stations. The first one I tried was making a Radiohead station. Radiohead is one of those groups I know I should like if I have actual Avant garde or refined taste in rock and roll, and I vaguely know they are atmospheric, so perhaps it would be good background music for work? They're not for me. I'm not cool enough to 'get' Radioed I guess, except for enjoying one or two songs.
So I went to my go-to and created a U2 station. Here's where the hookup comes. Pandora has since been re-aquainting me with my old late '80's and early to mid 90's rock and new wave friends. New Order "How Does it Feel," Flock of Seagulls' "Space Age Love Song" (totally forgot that one), Tears for Fears, The Smiths, The Cure, Smashing Pumpkins, Chili Peppers, Pearl Jam, Depeche Mode...I have been in a music-induced state of flashback heaven.
My chosen Lenten fast is a bit trivial and certainly not arduous. But because it's a practice that sets my eyes on Jesus, it is teaching and shaping me. When I set my gaze on Christ, and ask 'what was the result of HIM taking up His cross? What was the motivation?' The answer is MORE JOY.
Hebrews 12:2 "fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God."
During Lent, if we engage in our fast as a way of truly fixing our eyes on Jesus, we learn again that his call to 'deny yourself, take up your cross daily and follow me' is a call to joy. Greater joy. Every act of self denial from sin leads to the joy of tasting more holiness - being like Jesus. That's a resurrection of life in our being. Every act of taking up the cross of bearing the burden of others leads to the joy of incarnating the love of Christ in myself as it passes to another. That's a resurrection of life in human relationships.
After all, Jesus endured the cross for 'joy' - the joy of securing the way for you and me and all of creation to be reconciled to God. So I shouldn't be surprised when my small sacrifice of EDM music leads to more joy, as a small daily rehearsal and recapitulation of the way that is truly life. That way is the way of the cross, taking up our cross, denying self, and following Jesus daily. The way of joy, joy, and more joy.