Open Mike

Because of Covid-19 I can't visit my Dad

Because of covid-19 I can't visit my Dad. He's in a great place with people who care. For people with extreme memory loss.

I love my Dad. He was a great Dad. At my games. Loved me. Pointed me to Jesus. (pic of Mom and Dad at Dylan's college graduation dance)

Yet we were distant during my teen and college years. 

As a young adult of 28 wise years I confronted Dad with the content of our emotional inability to connect.

He told me stories of his early life challenge and dysfunction, leading to parental patterns. 

I told him 'I understand you better. As son please understand me better.’   

You graciously did. Remarkably so.

Dad (as adult parent - mark this - you are never done) overcame earlier life emotional transgressions not by naming and repenting of each, but by presence. Accepting, blessing, consistently-showing-up presence. Of Christ. To me. My wife. My boys.

This presence of Christ over all things is the most powerful thing anyone can speak over their family or friends, as you seek to give or receive blessing.

May you receive it for yourself, and extend it to others close to you, today.

St. Patrick's Prayer For A Time Like This

Happy St. Patrick’s Day friends! I have a prayer, rooted in Patrick’s actual life and ministry, that I’m going to begin praying daily during this time of uncertainty. It's kind of long, which will get my attention fully as I start each day.  I invite you to try it on today, perhaps many days. I PROMISE it will have a better result in your life than drinking green beer or even Guiness :)

Because the most important call I've heard so far in this time is this: use the extra time, the calmed down schedule, to lean into the spiritual practices I know keep me healthy. This changing situation has created a background of stress in each of our lives, which makes us more vulnerable than normal to situational depression or anxiety, being our worst self with others in the home or at work, etc.  Here are the spiritual practices I'm leaning into:

1. Daily Bible reading (I'm using the Pray As You Go app this year), 2. daily prayer (perhaps multiple times), 3. spiritual reading (read or re-read solid Christian books to get mind off the pandemic and media and fear), 4. regular connection with wise spiritual friendships (keeps me centered as my best self), 5. serve others in the name of Christ (make a run to food bank every time I grocery shop, reach out to isolated individuals, other opportunities our church will make us aware of).

So here's the prayer - St. Patrick's Breastplate is a popular prayer attributed to Ireland’s most beloved patron saint. According to tradition, St. Patrick wrote it in 433 A.D. for divine protection before successfully converting the Irish King Leoghaire and his subjects  to Christianity. The term breastplate refers to a piece of armor worn in battle.

More recent scholarship suggests its author was anonymous, a generation or three after Patrick, but reflecting the unique early Celtic Christian spirituality that has captured my theological imagination so much in my career. This prayer certainly reflects the spirit with which St. Patrick brought the faith to Ireland!I have printed it out and its in my daily morning spot.

St. Patrick's Breastplate (also known as The Lorica of Saint Patrick and The Cry of the Deer; I have edited slightly) 

I arise today 
Through a mighty strength, the invocation of the Trinity,
Through belief in the Threeness,
Through confession of the Oneness
of the Creator of creation.

I arise today
Through the strength of Christ's birth with His baptism,
Through the strength of His crucifixion with His burial,
Through the strength of His resurrection with His ascension,
Through the strength of His descent for the judgment of doom.

I arise today
Through the strength of the love of cherubim,
In the obedience of angels,
In the service of archangels,
In the hope of resurrection to meet with reward,
In the prayers of patriarchs,
In the predictions of prophets,
In the preaching of apostles,
In the faith of confessors,
In the deeds of righteous people.

I arise today, through
The strength of heaven,
The light of the sun,
The radiance of the moon,
The splendor of fire,
The speed of lightning,
The swiftness of wind,
The depth of the sea,
The stability of the earth,
The firmness of rock.

I arise today, through
God's strength to pilot me,
God's might to uphold me,
God's wisdom to guide me,
God's eye to look before me,
God's ear to hear me,
God's word to speak for me,
God's hand to guard me,
God's shield to protect me,
God's host to save me
From snares of devils,
From temptation of vices,
From everyone who shall wish me ill,
afar and near.

I summon today
All these powers between me and those evils,
Against every cruel and merciless power
that may oppose my body and soul,
Against every knowledge that corrupts body and soul;
Christ to shield me today
Against poison, against burning,
Against drowning, against wounding,
So that there may come to me an abundance of reward.

Christ with me,
Christ before me,
Christ behind me,
Christ in me,
Christ beneath me,
Christ above me,
Christ on my right,
Christ on my left,
Christ when I lie down,
Christ when I sit down,
Christ when I arise,
Christ in the heart of everyone who thinks of me,
Christ in the mouth of everyone who speaks of me,
Christ in every eye that sees me,
Christ in every ear that hears me.

[Note that people sometimes pray a shorter version of this prayer just with these 15 lines about Christ above. The conclusion follows below.]

I arise today
Through a mighty strength, the invocation of the Trinity,
Through belief in the Threeness,
Through confession of the Oneness
of the Creator of creation.

When St. Paul referred to putting on the “Armor of God” in his letter to the Ephesians (6:11), he could have been thinking of prayers just like this one! We may not wear combat gear in our daily lives, but St. Patrick's Breastplate can function as divine armor for protection against spiritual adversity...in...a...time...like...this.

I Buried My Dog Copper Yesterday, the 'Eager Dog'

I want to share with you a good grace in my life: I buried my dog Copper Moses yesterday evening.

Many of you have grieved a beloved pet, some of you see it in coming years. This was hard for me.

My Christmas Eve sermon this year highlighted my constant companion Copper, with a picture and the showing of her bowl as a modern day ‘animal food dish’ (the manger). Five days later I learned that in addition to her advanced age (14.5 years) she had a cancerous tumor filling 25% of her lungs. The boys, Angie and I spent their winter break beginning to say goodbye to one of God’s best gifts to us. I did not tell many people because even I need privacy now and then.

Lately, her periodic struggles to breathe and other problems peaked, and her Vet and I decided it’s time.

Mid-day Tuesday my compassionate Veterinary Doctor sat in the floor cradling Copper along with me, and she went to final sleep. And entered whatever intermediate rest is reserved for ‘soulish’ creatures – that word the Bible uses for mammals at the dawn of creation. She is now resting before the restoration of ‘all things.’ I know not what her lot will be on that Great Day, but I know she is covered by the biblical phrase ‘all things.’

Before the end, I was ministered to by Lake Forest Church. The veterinary assistant was a twenty-something young woman who grew up at LFC. She paid special attention to Copper when she was boarded or tended over the past year. So she scheduled herself to help the doctor this day for this task. She asked for time alone with me and Copper, and said ‘would you like for us to pray?’ I nodded yes, and began to pray in grief-cracked voice. Alyssa stopped me – ‘no, you often pray for others, this is my time to minister to you, I was taught well,’ and she prayed the most dear prayer – for me, our family, for Copper, and glorifying God for all of his good gifts.

The cardboard coffin was loaded into my car, and I made a beeline for the place Copper and I shared together, alone, most often – Windy Ridge. My parents 1890’s Virginia farmhouse on the Blue Ridge Parkway. Where I go monthly for sermon writing, prayer and reflection. My car did not smell good as I drove northward, subtracting from any romantic notions I had.

I selected a spot along one of our favorite walks for her burial site and started to dig. Deep, wide and long was the cardboard coffin, so the task was appropriately arduous. Nor did I want wild animals to dig her up. The weather was deep fog with occasional rain, matching my gray mood. Perfect. I could not tell when the fogging of my glasses was from external moisture or my grateful tears.

At seven in the evening I laid her to rest in the dark, placed her leash and a few other tokens in with her, and covered Copper’s body over with the soil of our traversing. Then the rain began in earnest and continued all night. Perfect. Thank you Lord.

Even the Lead Pastor, Moderator and normal Lake Norman dude has need to do this once in a great while – I cancelled everything for the next two days. Some life moments are too great to just move on in normalcy. I needed to just be, and to reflect, in honor of the completion of this great gift I had been given.

Last night (and into today), I sat by the fire and found comfort in the following ways:

Psalms 145-150.  These are pure praises to God, such as ‘everything you have made pleases you…comprehending your blessings we sing for joy upon our beds…all you have made praise you.”   I listened to these six Psalms read aloud on my Bible app.  Wow.  My thankfulness to God for Copper Moses is set in an even grander landscape.  I am thankful for the good gift of Copper for almost 15 years.  God is good, and sovereign.  Life is so good, I am okay with God’s decrees, which include endings.

Writing down favorite memories of Copper.

Reading, almost memorizing the poem “The Eager Dog” by Wendell Berry.  An American intellectual, agrarian, some say hippie, and Christian.  He gives intellectual backup to movements today to live and eat and work ‘close to the land,’ etc.  He is a creation-affirming man, poet and Christian.  Here is one of his poems, written on a Sunday, that I read and re-read today. It fits me and Copper, especially our blest times at Windy Ridge:

“The eager dog” lies strange and still

Who roamed the woods with me;

Then while I stood or climbed the hill

Or sat under a tree,

 

Awaiting what more time might say,

He thrashed in undergrowth,

Pursuing what he scared away,

Made ruckus for us both.

 

He’s dead; I go more quiet now, 

Stillness added to me

By time and sorrow, mortal law,

By loss of company

 

That his new absence has made new.

Though it must come by doom,

This quiet comes by kindness too,

And brings me nearer home,

 

For as I walk the wooded land

The morning of God’s mercy,

Beyond the work of mortal hand, 

Seen by more than I see,

 

The quiet deer look up and wait,

Held still in quick of grace.

And I wait, stop footstep and thought.

We stand here face to face.”

(This Day: Collected and New Sabbath Poems, Wendell Berry)

 

Your friend in Christ, and fellow griever of losses (human and creaturely) in this fallen world,

Mike Moses (next week I will post 3 more reflections occasioned by Copper's death)

From Fear to Freedom: My Story

In June of 2015 I experienced a full-blown, textbook panic attack which caused me to push myself through a scary, but healing journey. I have been a christian for many years but fear planted a seed in my heart at a young age.

[Today's post is from an anonymous, precious Lake Forest Church woman who has allowed me as pastor to travel alongside a bit of her path from being controlled by fear and anxiety, to beautiful freedom in Christ.  With her permission, I share her story with you.  If this is your issue, may you be given hope and be mentored by these words.  If you walk with others who struggle with fear and anxiety, this will help you be a better friend]

I have been a christian for many years but fear planted a seed in my heart at a young age. That seed grew through many traumatic events, some big, most small, but each watered that seed in its own way. 

It began with sexual abuse at age 3. Life became unsafe in my eyes from that point on. I learned to approach life cautiously and protected, continuing to manifest fear as my reality. My childhood was not terrible in many regards but there were some key components that continued to feed my unsafe reality. Fear began to become safe for me, it was all I knew, it was familiar. A few years back we moved into a new house. One month later someone shot a bullet through our bedroom window while we were sleeping. Nine months later I was diagnosed with PTSD, this caused my first experience with medication to help me balance my life. This incident caused my home to become unsafe, and my bedroom would create the most anxiety for me.

The seed was growing all these years, unbeknownst to me. It was gearing up to show its face someday.

And then it happened…

For 3 days I did not sleep well, if at all. I had trouble breathing. I became nauseous at times. I doubled over with stomach pains. I would shake uncontrollably. I would wake up multiple times in a panicked nightmare, afraid to try to sleep again. I became debilitated in living every day life. I was irrational. I was angry. I was scared.

My first decision was to reach out to the ladies in my community group and my mentor, an amazing lady with whom I began a mentoring relationship with a few years ago. I texted them and asked them to pray for me. I didn’t know what else to do. One of these trusted friends suggested I call a counselor. I did. I had an appointment 3 days later. That same day I called my doctor and discussed medication, mainly to help me sleep at night. I had medication the next day. My healing journey began.

I was able to sleep at night. The nightmare’s began to stop. The shaking, breathing, and stomach pains stopped. I began to feel like maybe there was hope. 

The first things I learned and began to do on a regular basis were numerous. I met with several friends over the next few weeks. Many of my friends would text me and call me regularly to see how I was doing. I began to protect my mind and what I put in it. I listened to christian music in the car and at home while I worked. I stayed off of Facebook, completely. I was careful what I would watch on tv. I would be careful what conversations I would take part in. I have a daily devotional, it takes 2 minutes to read, I began to read that daily. When I would wake up at night or early in the morning, or as I was driving in my car, I would pray, many times it was just calling out God’s name or singing a worship song, but I would do it daily. I began to find verses and encouraging words and I posted them where I could see them every day. I began regular visits with a counselor. I learned how to “reset” my feelings when I felt my fear or anxiety was triggered. I began to learn those triggers and how to address them, not run from them. I began to seek out God’s truths and promises to me and pray those over my life, daily. I revisited my past fearful traumatic events and began a painful process to release the hold they had over my life. I began to dig up that seed that was planted so many years ago. 

I asked myself: If I believe what God has promised and start remembering what He has protected me from then what is stopping me from allowing Him to release me from this stronghold of fear?

I began to let Him work. I protected my mind and my ears which protected my thoughts. I focused on God. I reconnected with the Holy Spirit and let Him show me my true heart and start to develop that. I listened to Him. I learned about Him. I looked for Him. I read about Him. I prayed to Him. I asked for His help. I found Him.

Fear still crosses my path, it always will. We will never completely avoid it. It finds us daily and it is everywhere. The world is full of it on all levels. What changes and how we can overcome it is by changing what our reality is. God teaches us to protect our hearts and our minds. He tells us to think about things that are lovely, pure, true and noble. He tells us to protect our hearts because it is the well-spring of life. God gave us a spirit of power, love and a sound mind. He said to not be afraid, or terrified, for He is with us wherever we go. These are His truths and His promises. This is what our reality should be. The world offers none of this. Protect yourself with God’s truth, in this is where you find freedom from fear. 

I began to develop a craving for God, His word, His comfort, His truth. He began to be my peace and my new reality. My new practical skills and my new learned truths became automatic as triggers came up. I was able to diffuse the old feelings and habits instantly. He started to uproot that seed of fear in my heart and He began to re-plant trust, peace, comfort, joy and love. In all my years of following God I finally began to live in His freedom and truly began to understand what that meant. For the very first time in my life I began to feel safe. 

There is a big difference between being a christian and allowing God to change your life. It’s not easy, but little by little, focusing on one thing at a time and giving up our own efforts, He will do it. We cannot practice to be free, we can only accept it from Him.

Presidential Debates and Papal Visits Provoke Me

I watched the entire Republican presidential nominee debate last Wednesday night (no lie, the whole thing). And are you digging, like me, the Pope's refusal of a limousine yesterday, and lunch with congress today - the latter in favor of dining with the homeless?

I'm provoked by the content, personages and yes, even the hype of such world-shaping events.

As a follower of Jesus, I'm reading two new books I've chosen as guides through both the US presidential primary and our American encounter with the first Latin American Pope.

"Jesus Outside the Lines: A Way Forward For Those Who Are Tired of Taking Sides" is a refreshing look at discipleship in our polarized society.  When I say polarized, I mean polarized politically, racially, economically and even within the Christian faith.  The author, Scott Sauls (a pastor in TN who was apprenticed to Tim Keller for some years), points to Jesus as a way forward - away from harshness, caricatures, and stereotypes.  How to hold firm to our orthodox Christian beliefs without perpetuating divisiveness.

I'm not finished with it, but so far its a book I wish I'd written a while ago.  With chapter titles like "Red State or Blue State?"  and "For the Unborn or For the Poor?" and "Personal Faith or Institutional Church?" dude takes on contemporary binary Christian choices and kicks their tail by simply studying Jesus.

That last sentence?  Since I'm reading this book, yall can look for me to do a little more of that in the near future than I have recently.  His rants on things like 'outrage porn' and wide ranging quotes from masters of the faith are worth the purchase price.

Here are a couple of his quotes: 

"Tolerance isn't about not having beliefs. It's about how your beliefs lead you to treat people who disagree with you." - Tim Keller.  BAM

"I met those of our society who had votes in the ensuing election, and advised them, 1. To vote, without fee or reward, for the person they judged most worthy: 2. To speak no evil of the person they voted against: and, 3. To take care their spirits were not sharpened against those that voted on the other side." - John Wesley.  BOOM

 The book I am reading as a companion to Pope Francis' first visit to American soil is "Pope Francis: Why He Leads The Way He Leads," by Chris Lowney.  I'm intrigued by this book for two reasons. 

One, the author examines Francis through the lens of his extensive training and life practices as a Jesuit: "I suspect the Pope doesn't even have a leadership philosophy---instead, he focuses on one priority only: he is a follower of Jesus, and his Jesuit formation helps him follow Jesus more closely, end of story. This is what gives the Jesuit life meaning and purpose; Jesuits pursue their formation and spiritual practices for this end alone and no other."

Two, the author trained for six years as a Jesuit in seminary, before going on to a career as a managing director at J.P. Morgan on three continents.  A Jesuit Christian Capitalist, writing about the Pope's leadership.  That's trippy.  The notable evangelical conference speaker recommending this book is Patrick Lencioni, author of The Five Dysfunctions of a Team.  Its a leadership book and a Christian spirituality book.

I've had quite a week of intense pastoral encounters, interrupted Bible study, and pragmatic planning for the common life of Christ's church, the tribe called "Lake Forest." But evenings have been spent on my back porch, in the glorious cool of early fall, prayerfully reading these books and examining my heart and my ways. 

I wish for you such high minded companions as these. Or better.