Because of covid-19 I can't visit my Dad. He's in a great place with people who care. For people with extreme memory loss.
I love my Dad. He was a great Dad. At my games. Loved me. Pointed me to Jesus. (pic of Mom and Dad at Dylan's college graduation dance)
Yet we were distant during my teen and college years.
As a young adult of 28 wise years I confronted Dad with the content of our emotional inability to connect.
He told me stories of his early life challenge and dysfunction, leading to parental patterns.
I told him 'I understand you better. As son please understand me better.’
You graciously did. Remarkably so.
Dad (as adult parent - mark this - you are never done) overcame earlier life emotional transgressions not by naming and repenting of each, but by presence. Accepting, blessing, consistently-showing-up presence. Of Christ. To me. My wife. My boys.
This presence of Christ over all things is the most powerful thing anyone can speak over their family or friends, as you seek to give or receive blessing.
May you receive it for yourself, and extend it to others close to you, today.
I get feedback following every sermon I preach. Some messages illicit more responses. Most notes are kind and fill my “warm and fuzzy” bucket, others are critical or questioning. That’s the deal with being Lead Pastor and I embrace it as part of living in dialogue, not monologue, with the precious people of Lake Forest Church.
I don’t have a strong need to defend myself or change someone’s mind when the feedback is critical or questioning, but there are times where I go, “Huh, maybe I should unpack this a bit more for our entire tribe.” And this week, following my sermon “Writing a Better Story – Pt. 2” is one of those times.
Here are two good honest questions I received from more than one person regarding the racial understanding portion of my message:
1. “Mike, it seems like when you touch on matters of race in your sermons, you only talk about what white people are doing wrong and how white people need to change – do you have a problem with whiteness?
That’s a good question. Thank you for helping me understand an area in which I haven't been clear, evidently. God has appointed me to shepherd a particular group of people in one particular church. Those people are, by far, mostly white folks in suburban Lake Norman and N Charlotte. My charge is to teach the Bible, with its comforts and challenges, to the people in the congregation. There have been and will be moments when I stop and apply a Bible verse to people of color in the room. But when I feel called, by God's Word, to speak prophetically or challengingly about matters of race, I very specifically choose to do so to the majority of our congregation (of which I am a part) - anglos.
Also, no I don't have a problem with whiteness and I’m not ashamed of mine – I like it (except for the frequent sunburns). In fact, I don’t want to be guilty of so focusing on bad things “we” have done that it leads to shame and guilt. Because of the gospel, we are not a shame and guilt church! However, I will continue to call us to the important task of owning the power the Bible says each of us has to do helpful, healing, even great things in our world on behalf of more vulnerable communities. Because God’s Word says God “has committed to us the message of reconciliation” (II Cor. 5:19). Therefore that is the primary role God has given to us Christians in today's turmoil over race - people with a message of reconciliation through our words and deeds, rooted in the good news of Jesus Christ.
2. “Why don’t you point out what other races are doing wrong too? Does our partner church The L speak frankly and prophetically about matters of race to its congregation? How about Pastor Victor?”
As I said above, my calling and style is to almost exclusively talk to the people in the room, not about people outside the room. You'll notice that I don't normally bash or exhort people of other nations or religious faiths in my sermons, for example. But on the other hand, I’m not shy about encouraging LFC folks to be carriers of the message of reconciliation, and not-so-secret agents of Revelation 7:9 (the picture of heaven with every tongue, tribe and language present in harmony). We Christians are to put God’s future kingdom on display through our present actions and words. Here's God's good future:
"After this I looked, and there before me was a great multitude that no one could count, from every nation, tribe, people and language, standing before the throne and before the Lamb." - Revelation 7:9
When we pray "thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven" from the Lord's prayer, THIS is one of the things we are praying for! And its what we are called to put on display in our interactions about race and with people of other ethnicities, privately and publicly today, as kingdom people. Living out Revelation 7:9 is a priority for our family of churches.
And yes, Pastor Byron Davis of our partner church, Liberation Ministries, which is a predominantly African-American congregation, speaks the same scriptures to his congregation and applies them very specifically. I’ve been present when he’s given comfort and challenge to them regarding racial understanding and reconciliation.
Oh, and what’s good for my LFC friends to know is that Victor and Rosmi Leal came up with the idea of naming our new Spanish-speaking church ‘The Good Samaritan’ (El Buen Samaritano) precisely as biblical challenge to their Latino members. Rather than only focusing on how they may feel overlooked or underestimated as a community, Pastor Victor wants them to live with the dignity that Jesus calls them to BE the Good Samaritan to others, in the name of Christ. I think that’s fantastic.
I woke up sad and hurt for our fair city this morning, and want to offer thoughts to friends.
Many Charlotteans are asking 'what am I called to do in the face of these tensions in my city?'
The fact that some people are responding with violence and crime under the cover of legitimate protest, and the fact that some are responding with name calling and blame on social media, in no way diminishes the need for every Christian to find at least one way to respond in faith, and in a Christ-honoring way.
Some are called to protest, some are called to protect, some are called to advocate. Most are bewildered today. What is your specific calling in the face of racial tension in our town?
My primary calling is to build relationships. To build cross-racial friendships that point to the healing and uniting power of Jesus, leading to the growth of me and my friends to "love mercy, act justly, and walk humbly with God" more fully (Micah 6:8). I'm called to this personally and as a leader of our tribe in Lake Norman.
I pray for my actions, and those of our church, to point to Christ "who is our peace, who has made the two groups one and has destroyed the barrier, the dividing wall of hostility" - Ephesians 2:14.
When the downtown protests began last evening, I was barely a mile north in the fellowship hall of a predominantly African-American church in the Druid Hills neighborhood. Two of our pastors (me and Flake) and two of our elders (Jack and Allen) were talking, praying and breaking bread for hours with the leadership of our big-hearted sister church 'Faith Liberation Church EPC.' This was our second meeting specifically to plan greater partnership between our predominantly white and predominantly black congregations. Because we believe we can assist each other in ministry, because we think true friendship between our folks will be redemptive in our city, and because we just like each other.
And how timely was it that this past Sunday, my closest African-American friend and pastor shared a sermon with me on 'Breaking Down the Wall of Hostility' at Lake Forest Church - Huntersville (link below). And we've already had a follow-up phone call to plan more specific, relational partnership between our church members.
75% of Americans do not have a significant friend of another race. I don't mean 'going out to lunch from the office' friend, I mean 'having over to dinner in my home' friend. I mean a friend with whom enough trust has been built that you can sit down, discuss race, the scriptures, and solutions with even strong disagreements, still remaining friends. A true friendship that isn't for a mercenary or token reason, but where two people really like each other.
What this means is at least 75% of white Americans don't have a black friend who is close enough to be open, honest, and personal with them about how their families experience the ongoing, legacy effects of past and present racism in our society. So the problems remain impersonal, affecting others, and (speaking for myself now) therefore us white folks struggle to own how serious they are and to be motivated to act for greater mercy and justice regarding racial disparities.
This also means that most African-Americans don't have a close enough white friend to have a trusted back-and-forth discussion with about such things either. Although because they live in a majority white culture, its more likely for them to have such a friend.
Building stronger cross-racial friendships is do-able for everyone of us. If your calling is not to advocate, protect or protest - then perhaps this is your calling in this moment (however, it may lead for you, as it has for me, to future callings to advocate or protest for change in specific ways).
I'm not saying that other people need my friendship. I'm saying that I need their friendship.
If you are looking for direction at the moment - how to be part of something, anything God may want to do in our city as a response to this racial tension, I'm suggesting you could start with relationship. And for most, God has already put us around 'lunch time' level friends whom we like. We just need to be intentional about taking it to the next level, as appropriate with that person. One move I suggest is to add someone into your texting circle. Think about it - the people you text with, especially during non-working hours, are next-level friends. Who might God be calling you to make that next-level move with?
I actually think Jesus would say this kind of friendship is imperative at the moment and not optional. Why would I say that?
When Jesus said that one of the greatest commandments is to 'Love your neighbor as yourself,' he was asked a followup question, 'Who is my neighbor?' that you're telling me to love 'as myself' Jesus? His answer is recorded in Luke chapter 10. Jesus' answer connects the imperative of 'loving your neighbor' with his definitive definition that 'that neighbor is a person of another ethnicity who is in distress.'
If you don't remember that as Jesus' answer, go back and check it out. He answered with the well-known Parable of the Good Samaritan. If a person of another ethnicity is in distress (in the case of the parable a highly mistrusted other ethnicity), Jesus says the highest form of loving my neighbor is to enter into their distress and love them according to what is needed.
To my white friends: our black brothers and sisters in Christ are telling us they are in distress, individually and as a group. We dare not be those ones in Jesus' teaching who walk on by, saying its not my problem or its not such a big deal. May we be those whom Jesus describes as stopping to take seriously the distress of another, even when their distress doesn't seem to affect me personally.
If your calling to love our city today does not include protest, protection, or advocacy, I suggest you accept the calling of relationship.
And to my Lake Forest friends, perhaps a few of you will feel called to worship at one of our predominantly African-American partner churches this Sunday (Liberation Ministries on Beatties Ford Rd or Faith Liberation Church on Moretz Ave, both in Charlotte). If so (and I don't mean everyone!), just say 'I'm here because our churches are friends and partners, simply to worship in unity with you today.'
Here is a link to video and audio of last Sunday's 10:30am sermon "Breaking Down the Wall of Hostility" (or Fear of the Other) Breaking Down the Wall of Hostility
Here they are: Good Friday Worship, Easter Fast & Scripture Meditation, Easter Worship, One More Person Invite, Easter Servanthood, Easter Feast.
In last week's sermon, I stated that the classical spiritual disciplines, or spiritual practices, are the way we actually treasure the beauty of Jesus Christ in our everyday lives, habitually, so that His Word to us and about us forms our identity more powerfully than other forces (like the 'Counterfeit Gods' we studied during Lent).
Since our church began to observe the Lenten season some years ago (40 days of anticipation before Easter), I have learned to be more intentional in my 'practices' of allowing our annual celebration of the resurrection of Jesus to form me, hopefully, just a bit more into the character of Jesus. To me, this historically proven method of preparing for Easter, the most important of all Christian days, is far superior in value for my sanctification than just showing up like its just another 'ordinary-but-amped-up' Sunday.
For example, this year I 'gave up' listening to sports talk radio for the 40 days of Lent. The point is - fasting from something good, in order to set my heart on something better. I LOVE sports radio. But in the runup to the Panthers Superbowl game, it was consuming far too much of my driving and think time. This unique Lenten fast has provided a wonderful reset button, setting my mind on either the actual real world by listening to news on NPR, or being prayerful to classical music, or renewing myself emotionally by cranking tunes that I love with the sunroof open (until the pollen invasion hit this week).
But now that it is Easter week, what are my spiritual practices?
Well, my first one is kind of weird and unique to a church staff. I walked into our offices on Monday morning, and to each new person or sub-staff meeting I encountered I shouted, 'It's the first day of Easter week - woo hoo - this is what we live for - get your Easter game face on!' Our staff seemed to like the point I was making, while reserving the right to view my method as cheesy. They joked that I was like the camel in the hump day commercial. I am flattered.
Okay, but my for real Easter Spiritual Practices. To which I invite you to join me:
Good Friday Worship @ 7 pm: This year, our LFC-WestLake Church hosts and leads our observance of our Lord's death, with musical meditation on scripture and communion. I will be there, I invite you to join us, or worship at another church. LFC Good Friday Service @ Lincoln Charter School
Easter Fast: We invite the Lake Forest Tribe to fast on Good Friday, as a way of focusing our desire on Christ alone, the author of our salvation. This year, I will observe the fast from Sundown on Friday (the Good Friday service) until Sundown on Saturday (I will break my fast with communion at the end of our Saturday evening Easter worship service at Lake Forest Church - Huntersville). The Easter Fast prepares my spirit with readiness to worship along with the Holy Spirit on Easter. It utilizes a spiritual practice best exemplified by Jesus, and the Bible teaches that fasting uniquely reorders the desires of our flesh and hones our attuned-ness to God's Holy Spirit in our lives. I believe fasting should always be accompanied with specific meditations on God's Word. When I fast, whenever a hunger pang pangs me I turn it into a prayer toward God, in the words of Jesus during two of his recorded fasts:
"Jesus answered, 'Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.'" Matthew 4:4
"My food," said Jesus, "is to do the will of him who sent me and to finish his work." John 4:34
Easter Worship: LFC-Huntersville worships this weekend on Saturday 5pm (with communion) and Sunday 9 & 10:30am. I can't wait. I get to worship Jesus in his resurrection three times! LFC-W worships Sunday 9 & 10:30am, LFC-D worships Sunday 9:30 & 11am.
One More Person Invite: I've come to believe that Christians best live on purpose when we ALWAYS prefer in friendship One More Person in our life who is currently living outside of the knowledge and experience of God's love through Jesus Christ. Who is that person in your life and mine, and what Easter service will you invite them to? Like Christmas Eve, this is 'one of those times' most people are open, even perhaps hoping for, an invitation to a God-environment. Be the answer to that hope.
Easter Servanthood: Part of Holy Week is Jesus washing his disciples' feet, saying he did not come to be served but to serve. How will you serve your church this Easter? Children's ministry role? At LFC-Huntersville, the most important way is to Reserve a VIPeeps Pass to park across the street. We seriously need 100 cars across the street at both Sunday services - please relieve our stress ahead of time and sign up NOW and arrive early LFCH Easter Parking VIPeeps
(our LFC-H parking and preschool rooms are just about full - we are working on plans to expand them in the fall, because we believe the Great Commission calls us to always make room for One More Person who's 'given up on church but not on God.')
Easter Feast: Last but not least, consider your Easter lunch, and the invite list, as a resurrection feast! Do so in God's direction, thanking and rejoicing in him, widening the circle around your table to include those whom the Lord brings to mind.
In June of 2015 I experienced a full-blown, textbook panic attack which caused me to push myself through a scary, but healing journey. I have been a christian for many years but fear planted a seed in my heart at a young age.
[Today's post is from an anonymous, precious Lake Forest Church woman who has allowed me as pastor to travel alongside a bit of her path from being controlled by fear and anxiety, to beautiful freedom in Christ. With her permission, I share her story with you. If this is your issue, may you be given hope and be mentored by these words. If you walk with others who struggle with fear and anxiety, this will help you be a better friend]
I have been a christian for many years but fear planted a seed in my heart at a young age. That seed grew through many traumatic events, some big, most small, but each watered that seed in its own way.
It began with sexual abuse at age 3. Life became unsafe in my eyes from that point on. I learned to approach life cautiously and protected, continuing to manifest fear as my reality. My childhood was not terrible in many regards but there were some key components that continued to feed my unsafe reality. Fear began to become safe for me, it was all I knew, it was familiar. A few years back we moved into a new house. One month later someone shot a bullet through our bedroom window while we were sleeping. Nine months later I was diagnosed with PTSD, this caused my first experience with medication to help me balance my life. This incident caused my home to become unsafe, and my bedroom would create the most anxiety for me.
The seed was growing all these years, unbeknownst to me. It was gearing up to show its face someday.
And then it happened…
For 3 days I did not sleep well, if at all. I had trouble breathing. I became nauseous at times. I doubled over with stomach pains. I would shake uncontrollably. I would wake up multiple times in a panicked nightmare, afraid to try to sleep again. I became debilitated in living every day life. I was irrational. I was angry. I was scared.
My first decision was to reach out to the ladies in my community group and my mentor, an amazing lady with whom I began a mentoring relationship with a few years ago. I texted them and asked them to pray for me. I didn’t know what else to do. One of these trusted friends suggested I call a counselor. I did. I had an appointment 3 days later. That same day I called my doctor and discussed medication, mainly to help me sleep at night. I had medication the next day. My healing journey began.
I was able to sleep at night. The nightmare’s began to stop. The shaking, breathing, and stomach pains stopped. I began to feel like maybe there was hope.
The first things I learned and began to do on a regular basis were numerous. I met with several friends over the next few weeks. Many of my friends would text me and call me regularly to see how I was doing. I began to protect my mind and what I put in it. I listened to christian music in the car and at home while I worked. I stayed off of Facebook, completely. I was careful what I would watch on tv. I would be careful what conversations I would take part in. I have a daily devotional, it takes 2 minutes to read, I began to read that daily. When I would wake up at night or early in the morning, or as I was driving in my car, I would pray, many times it was just calling out God’s name or singing a worship song, but I would do it daily. I began to find verses and encouraging words and I posted them where I could see them every day. I began regular visits with a counselor. I learned how to “reset” my feelings when I felt my fear or anxiety was triggered. I began to learn those triggers and how to address them, not run from them. I began to seek out God’s truths and promises to me and pray those over my life, daily. I revisited my past fearful traumatic events and began a painful process to release the hold they had over my life. I began to dig up that seed that was planted so many years ago.
I asked myself: If I believe what God has promised and start remembering what He has protected me from then what is stopping me from allowing Him to release me from this stronghold of fear?
I began to let Him work. I protected my mind and my ears which protected my thoughts. I focused on God. I reconnected with the Holy Spirit and let Him show me my true heart and start to develop that. I listened to Him. I learned about Him. I looked for Him. I read about Him. I prayed to Him. I asked for His help. I found Him.
Fear still crosses my path, it always will. We will never completely avoid it. It finds us daily and it is everywhere. The world is full of it on all levels. What changes and how we can overcome it is by changing what our reality is. God teaches us to protect our hearts and our minds. He tells us to think about things that are lovely, pure, true and noble. He tells us to protect our hearts because it is the well-spring of life. God gave us a spirit of power, love and a sound mind. He said to not be afraid, or terrified, for He is with us wherever we go. These are His truths and His promises. This is what our reality should be. The world offers none of this. Protect yourself with God’s truth, in this is where you find freedom from fear.
I began to develop a craving for God, His word, His comfort, His truth. He began to be my peace and my new reality. My new practical skills and my new learned truths became automatic as triggers came up. I was able to diffuse the old feelings and habits instantly. He started to uproot that seed of fear in my heart and He began to re-plant trust, peace, comfort, joy and love. In all my years of following God I finally began to live in His freedom and truly began to understand what that meant. For the very first time in my life I began to feel safe.
There is a big difference between being a christian and allowing God to change your life. It’s not easy, but little by little, focusing on one thing at a time and giving up our own efforts, He will do it. We cannot practice to be free, we can only accept it from Him.
Angie Moses: Flying Home My wife Angie published her first novel a few years ago. #1 I'm proud of her. #2 It's stinkin' good (tension between dreams and duty for a young mother). #3 This book will never be published and stocked in a 'Christian' bookstore with the picture of a beatific looking prairie woman on the front wearing a bonnet - there's grittiness of real life like happens to real people, and perhaps some grace. #4 This link is to the Kindle version, look below for paperback also. #5 Angie had in mind precisely the type of 'given up on church but not on God' folks we love so much to welcome at Lake Forest as she wrote.
